Calla's Complete Laby Guide for NAILS

WARNING: These spoilers contain detailed information about NAILS combat, and as such may reduce the pleasure and sense of accomplishment you may receive by discovering these secrets yourself.

Greetings! Here is the NAILS Guide to the Labyrinth. Please be aware that many people have contributed to this guide, some whose names are shrouded in history. The important thing to remember is that it is by helping each other that we can all enjoy the game more. Be polite, be considerate, and above all: Help each other!!


Ok, let's go over the basics - your stats - which are viewed whenever you type 't' (Typing 't <player>' will show you the stats of any individual player on NAILS; 't' by itself will show only yours.). First are what are generally called Hit Points, or HP, represented by a number outside the parenthesis (). The number inside the parenthesis is the max HP you will heal to; this will increase as you rise in levels.You can heal by potion or by just wandering. Keep a close eye on your HP: when it reaches 0, you die, and lose a large portion of the money you are carrying, all your items that appear on your Q ('equipped') list, and, most painful of all, a portion of your experience, as determined by the monster that has killed you.

The next number shows your experience. You earn experience by killing things or drinking M-09. The way you gain levels (and more HP) is through experience. When you first start out, levels come fast, but that will change.

Depth is your next number. Basically, it shows how deep you are in the labyrinth. The last number indicates the amount of cash you are carrying - not any money you may have in the bank. (Note: Some monsters will steal cash you are carrying; some will steal from your bank account.)

A note about dying: do not be afraid of dying. You _will_ die, probably many times in the lower levels before you get the hang of combat, and a few times after that, most likely. Although you will lose your equipped itms, some levels, and some cash, you will be resurrected in the park. All your equipment will be where you were when you were killed. It is possible to re-equip and regain everything, if no one has picked it up.

As an up side, after resurrecting, you will gain an additional amount of HP's. As a down side, you will get frustrated and pissed off, especially if you are over level 30.


A note about shopping: Buying and selling items in the combat area stores is a large part of working the labyrinth. You can buy items that help you fight monsters more effectively, and sell items you've found in the laby. You can often find rare, expensive stuff (possibly where a higher-level player got killed, so be aware) that you might not be able to afford in a store, or that just won't show up on an average flip - or that you're not fast enough to grab before someone else does. (You can only use or equip items while you're in the laby, however.) And, of course, the shops are a great place to meet fellow players, socialize for a bit, and pick up some good advice.

Each store's inventory flips (restocks) automatically every hour on the hour from the time NAILS last came up (uptime stated when you type in '@stats'). When the uptime reaches the hour, the flip occurs, and buying is free-for-all. Blind buying (buying automatically without checking to see what is there) is looked down on and is generally a bad idea. So is macro buying (using one key to have the 'buy' command typed out) - in fact, use of macros anywhere in any of the stores is an @toading offense, and doesn't have to be proved, just attested to by other players. Be warned.

General rule of thumb as far as flips go: if someone uses items from their inventory to flip the store's inventory manually, then they get first pick from what is brought out. When they say they are done, then and only then is it acceptable to take something. If a seller in the store states that a certain item sold is 'for <someone>,' do not ask or try to get it - it is strictly for that someone.

All stores will buy back items that are sold there - for 70% of their selling price. This does not apply to teleporters.

As for your (carried) inventory, you are limited to 30 items total, or to the maximum of your encumbrance. Some things are heavier than others; in order to carry many, or heavy, items, you will need purple balloons (which take up inventory space) or BWT-01's, which are not numerous, but necessary in order to raise in levels expediently.

Van Zlin's Weapon shop:

Here's where you can buy all the good stuff to show the monsters what you're made of. Be careful not to spend too much here since in the labyrinth, the best offense IS a good defense. You won't be able to use a weapon until you are at or near the level that precedes the price of the weapon, and each new weapon will take some practice to most fully utilize its punch.

Recommended weapons per levels:

        Beginner        Baseball Bat
        Level 4         Blaster Pistol
        Level 10        Shotgun
        Level 14        E-11
        Level 19        Modified E-11
        Level 23        CGL
        Level 34        Eviscerator
        Level 37        FGMP
        Level 46        FEAR

Selling back weapons is a good way to make money. Some of these are lucrative, if you are strong enough to carry them in the first place... lightsabers are particularly good, because they return a fair price and are light enough to carry several at the same time. Here's a list of some of the more valuable weapons to resell:

        FEAR                            175,000
        Recoiless Railgun                66,500
        Plasma Blasting Cannon           63,000
        Blaze Bomb Rack                  59,500
        FGMP                             49,000
        "Seeker" Sniper Rifle            49,000
        Eviscerator                      38,500
        Plasma Cannon Portable           35,000
        Hunting Blaster Rifle            18,900
        Vibroaxe                         14,000
        Lightsaber                       10,500

Rusty's Armour Shop:

Get your protection here, from sunglasses to buttons to triple plate armour. Get a good balance, and remember, the more expensive it is here, the better it is. But a caveat: the more protective the armor, the heavier, thus the more it adds to your encumbrance.

Recommended armor (until naked armor class is at its maximum:

        Triple Plate Armor
        Set of Gauntlets
        Steel Helmet
        Imperial Boots
        Steve Miller Sunglasses
        any button

Armor trick: Once your AC with armor on reaches 80, it will not go any higher, unless you begin taking your armor off before you take D-03's. When your NAKED armor class is 80, put on a Mets Baseball Cap and it will take your AC down to 79. Take one more D-03 to make it 80 once again. Then use a D-00, then two D-03's. The D-00 will take your AC down to 78, the D-03's raises it back to 80. Now when the D-00 wears off, your AC (wearing only the Mets cap) will be 82. Take off the cap, and your naked AC will be 83. Re-equip with the recommended armor, and your AC will be 149. Begin to replace the heavy armor with lighter stuff, as you can, keeping your AC around 100-104. Anything above 104 is not necessary.

Trelg Baron's Hardware Store:

There are lots of odds and ends here, teleporters, potions, vials, guitars, and even textbooks. Don't waste your time on droid parts, Fender Telecaster guitars, BLUE balloons, or the text books. Purple helium balloons are important to help you carry heavy objects until you can drink several BWT-01's to replace the need for them. Any potion or vial that casts a buck is bad. Any one that is expensive is good. The PH-4xxx series all heal, and the more expensive, the more it will heal. As a general rule, until you are level 15, PH-4002 and PH-4002x are quite adequate for healing. From level 15 to about level 30, PH-4010 is usually adequate (this will depend on your total HP's, however). As a courtesy, don't be greedy for PH-5000's! These are the only potions that can keep a level 30 and above alive, and they are in very short supply. Be nice: sell or trade the 5K's you get to the high level players for D-03's and BWT-01's or purple balloons (which you lower-level players need more, anyway). It's just the sporting thing to do.

Teleporters and Recallers:

        Recallers       Bring you completely out of the labyrinth.
                        It differs from the 'save' command in that
                        when you return to the combat area after 
                        'saving out,' you will return to exactly the same
                        spot you were at when you saved; the recaller 
                        takes you completely out, and you will have to 
                        either walk back or macro back down the levels.
                        The recaller is your best friend. Your buddy. Your
                        right hand. It will save your ass over and over
                        again. Unfortunately, it will burn up, so watch 
                        each time you recall to see when you need to 
                        replace it. DO NOT ENTER THE LABY WITHOUT IT!!!

        Teleporters     Transport you to a different area of the level
                        you are on.

        Flash teleporters Do the same as teleporters but are for one-time
                        use only.

        Tarynti teleporters  A multi-use teleporter; very valuable 
                        when hunting for specific monsters.

        Monster teleporters  Just as other teleporters, but they 
                        teleport the monster away, not you. Good for 
                        avoiding a high-level monster when you're not 
                        strong enough to fight it. 

        Level teleporters  From levels 1-3, it will bring you up a 
                        level right to the stairs up. At deeper levels,
                        it will bring you up to either level 2 or 3.


Good vials (permanent)

                D-03            adds one point to your AC
                HU-1            adds 2 HPs temporarily, then 
                                helps you heal faster
                BWT-01          adds to your strength
                S-87            improves reflexes (S-07 used
                                just before will intensify effect)
                M-09            adds approximately 20 XPs
                PH-4002         heals light wounds
                PH-4002x        heals medium wounds
                PH-4010         heals heavy wounds
                PH-5000         fully restores HPs
                V-45            cures blindness
                PA-0010         poison antidote

        Good vials (temporary)

                D-01            adds two AC temporarily
                S-04            increases speed somewhat
                S-91            increases speed significantly

        Bad vials (first two are permanent!)

                X-000           instant death
                PH-3113         hurts
                PA-0080         cyanide
                PA-0013         poison
                D-00            lowers AC by 2
                V-40            bad
                S-07            lose speed
                S-62            lose reflexes
                BWT-02          lose strength
                M-02            partial amnesia

Just for fun, drink some DP-1.

Rilminal Karn's Jewelry Store:

Don't bother buying anything here. If you'd like to make money by selling gems from the laby, get a Mineral Analyzer (they're heavy, but you won't be able to tell worthless glass from the valuables without one), and look for:

COLOUR          NAME            RESALE PRICE
Orange          Fire Opal       2100
Orange          Carnelian       140
Orange          Coral           70

Red             Ruby            1400
Red             Star Ruby       5250

Green           Emerald         1750
Green           Alexandrite     49
Green           Tourmaline      21

Violet          Amethyst        1750
Violet          Rhodolite       70

Blue            Star Sapphire   4900
Blue            Turquoise       630
Blue            Sapphire        280
Blue            Zircon          35

Transparent     Diamond         10500
Transparent     Moonstone       35

Light Red       Beryl           350

Yellow          Jade            1400

Multicolored    Agate           140

White           Opal            ????
White           Sunstone        28

Any             Colored Glass   1


     Level 1=4               Level 2=15              Level 3=17
     Level 4=40              Level 5=60              Level 6=90
     Level 7=125             Level 8=165             Level 9=240
     Level 10=350            Level 11=500            Level 12=700
     Level 13=1050           Level 14=1300
     Level 15=1300           Level 16=1700           Level 17=2100
     Level 18=2600           Level 19=3200           Level 20=4000
     Level 21=5000           Level 22=6500           Level 23=8500
     Level 24=12000          Level 25=16000          Level 26=21000
     Level 27=27000          Level 28=35000          Level 29=45000
     Level 30=57500          Level 31=70000          Level 32=85000
     Level 33=105000         Level 34=130000         Level 35=155000
     Level 36=180000         Level 37=230000         Level 38=270000
     Level 39= 300000        Level 40=400000         Level 41= 500000
     Level 42=600000         Level 43=800000         Level 44=1200000
     Level 45=1500000        Level 46=2 million      Level 47=2.5 million
     Level 48=3.2 million    Level 49=4 million      Level 50=<42 million


    LEVEL   WEAPON                                  COST
    _____   ___________________________________     ________

    48      FEAR                                    250000
    39      Lightsaber                               15000
    39      Bowcaster                                14000
    38      Seeker Sniper Blaster Rifle              70000
    37      FGMP                                     70000
    35      Blaze Bomb Rack                          85000
    35      Eviscerator                              55000
    35      PCMP                                     50000
    33      PBC-MP                                   90000
    33      Hunting Blaster Rifle                    27000
    31      Repeating Recoiless Ray Gun              10000
    24      Concussion Grenade Launcher (CGL)        22000
    23      Vibroaxe                                 20000
    20      Heavy Blaster Rifle (E-11 mod)           10000
    17      Repeating Blaster                         8000
    17      Spetsdods                                 1500
    17      Colt .45                                  1000
    17      Pirate longsword                           700
    15      Parker .177 Sparker gun                   3500
    15      Mauser 9mm pistol                          700
    13      E-11 Trooper Rifle                        6500
    11      Holdout Blaster                           2700
    11      Broadaxe                                  1200
    10      Shotgun                                   1500
    10      Cutlass                                    300
     9      Coagulator                                9400
     9      Monofilament-edged sword                   750
     9      Springgun (ShockTox) dart gun              550
     7      Small sword                                150
     4      Blaster pistol                            4000
     4      Vibroblade                                 700
     4      Stiletto dagger                             30
     3      Flechette pistol                          3000
     2      Ginsu steak knife                           35
     1      Slingshot                                   40
     1      Blackjack                                   35
     1      Hammer                                      35
     1      Brass knuckles                              32
     1      Baseball bat                                20

    CATEGORY        ARMOR                           COST
    ________        ___________________________     _______

    Armor:          Triple plate                    7000
                    Double plate                    4000
                    Single plate                    3000
                    Metal lamellar armor            2000
                    Heavy splint mail               1500
                    Metal brigandine armor          1200
                    Light splint mail               1000
                    Tauleorite chain mail            750
                    Alkrynian chain mail             500
                    Metal scale armor                300


    vests:          "Steal Your Face" t-shirt       350
                    resin metal jacket              250
                    leather flight jacket           150
                    studded leather jacket           70
                    denim jacket                     25
                    trenchcoat                       20
                    leather vest                     15
                    denim vest                       12
                    jedi robes                       10
                    "Lucky Town" concert shirt        5
                    Grateful Dead t-shirt             5
                    cloak                             5
    Headgear:       Steel Helmet                    300
                    football helmet                 150
                    batting helmet                   70
                    cowboy hat                       35
                    leather fedora                   30
                    Phillies baseball cap            10
                    Braves baseball cap              10
                    Mets baseball cap                10
                    leather headband                 10
    Footgear:       Imperial boots                  200
                    cowboy boots                    150
                    G.I. boots                      100
                    leather boots                    70
                    Hi-top sneakers                  50
                    Mid sneakers                     25
                    low sneakers                     10
                    moccasins                         5
    Sunglasses:     Steve Miller                    500
                    Federal Agent                   200
                    Terminator                      100
                    Wayfarer                         50
                    Ray-Ban                          20
                    cheap sunglasses                  5
    Gloves:         Set of gauntlets                 20
                    leather gloves                   10
    Buttons:        "Win With Walsh" campaign        10
                    NAILS logo                       10


You can use these as macros; just remember you'll need to descend staircases manually, unless you add 'down' at the end of each level's path.

I DON'T CARE *WHAT* LEVEL YOU ARE, DON'T MACRO THROUGH THE LABY WITHOUT A SHADOW!! If you pick up a life-draining monster, you will probably not be able to stop until it has drained all your lifeforce. Just try to explain that to the less-than-admiring hoards when your HP's go to negative numbers. FYI: A shadow is a lower-level monster that you cannot outrun, but that cannot lower your HP's significantly enough to endanger your life. Vince Coleman or a Kawokian both make good shadows, if you have not taken so many S-87's that you are too fast for them. If you are, a Floating Sword should work. Just try not to get so fast that you can only shadow with Barney (don't laugh! It *has* happened!).

Level 1:

4w, 4s, 2e, 2s, 5e, 2n, 2e, 3s, 4e, 5s, 4e, 2s,

Level 2:

2n, 1e, 1n, 1e, 1n, 1e, 1n, 1e, 1n, 1e, 1n, 1e, 1n, 4w, 2s, 2w, 4n, 1e, 3n, 10e, 5s, 2w, 3s, 2w, 2s, 2w, 1s, 1w, 2s, 2w,

Level 3:

2e, 1s, 2e, 4n, 3e, 2s, 2e, 1s, 1e, 2s, 1e, 2s, 3e, 10s, 2w, 1n, 1w, 1n, 2w, 1n, 2w, 1s, 3w, 2n, 2w, 2s, 2w,

Level 4:

15s, 19e, 19n, 19w, 2s,

Level 5:

4s, 3e, 6n, 4e, 2s, 1w, 2s, 1e, 2s, 1w, 2s, 1w, 2s, 3e, 2s, 5w, 2n, 2w, 2s,

Once you go deeper than level 5, the cycle repeats itself. Level 6 is a carbon copy of 1, level 7 is the same as 2, and so forth.


This section contains the actual maps of each level of the labyrinth. If for some reason it prints out funny, try this: trace the screen with tracing paper, remap by hand on graph paper, or try free-handing it if you're the artistic type.

          #      is any old room

          @      is the sequence of rooms on the paths above

          |      is a path north and south between rooms

          -      is a path from east to west between rooms

          L      is the level's lounge

          U      is the stairs leading up to the next level

          D      is the stairs down to the next level

          3      is another set of stairs down to the next level, but
                 it is also where you'll come up from the level below

          <      is a gate that you can only go east through (meaning
                 if you go east through here it will say a gate comes
                 crashing down behind you, and if you try to go west
                 through it it will say a rusty old gate blocks your

          >      is a gate that you can only go west through

          ^      is a gate you can only go north through

          v      is a gate you can only go south through

          T      is a teleporter trap (AVOID)

Level 1,6,11,16,...
    W --+-- E 
        |       T         #-#-#
        S       |         |   |
              #-#-#-#     #   #   #-#-#>#
         *    |     |     |   |   |     |
      #-#-#>#-#     #-#   #   #-#-#     #
      |       |       |   |       |     |
      #       #-#-#   #-#-#       #-#-#-#
      |           |   |           |   | 
      #           #   #           #   #   T
      |           |   |           |   |   |
    @-@<@-@-U-#-#>#   #<#-3   #   #   #-#-#
    |       |         |   |   |   |
    @       #         #   #   #-#-#
    |       |         |   |     |
    @       #-#<#-#-#-#   #     #
    |         ^           |     |
    @         #           #-#   #-#-#-#
    |         |             |         |
    @-@-@-#-#-#   @-@-@     #         #-#
        |         |   |     |           |
        @         @   @   #-#-#-#-#     #
        |         |   |           |     |
        @-@-@-@-@-@   @           #     #-#
        |     ^       |           |       |
    #-#-#     #       @-@-@-@-@   #       #
    |         |       |       |   |       |
    #         #       #       @   #-#>#-#-#
    |         |       |       |   |   |   |
    #-L       #   #-#>#       @   #   #   #
    |         |   |   |       |   |   |   |
    #         #-#-#   #-#     @   #-#-#   T
    |         ^   |     |     |
    #-#-#     #   #     #     @
    |   |     |   |     |     |
    T   #     #   #-#   #     @-@-@-@-@-T
        |     |     |   |             |
        #   #-#     #   #             @
        |   |       |   |             |
        #-#-#       #-#-#             D

                  Levels 2,7,12,17,22.....
            #-#-#-#-#-#-#         #-#-#     3
            |           |         |   |     |
            #           #-#-#-#   #   #-#   #
            |           |     |   |   |     |
      #-#-#-#   #-#-#   #     #-#-#   #     #
      |         |   |   |     |             |
      #       #-#   #-#-#     #             #
      |       |     |         |             |
      T     #-#     #     #-#-#         T-#-#
            |       |     |                 |
          #-#       #     #                 #
          | |       v     v                 |
        @-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-#<#-#       #-#
        |                   |     |       |
        @                   @     #       #
        |                   |     |       |
        @               T   @     #   #-#-#
        |               |   |     |   |
      @-@-#-#-#-#-T   #-#   @     #-#-#
      |               |     |     |   |
      @             #-#     @     #   #
      |             |       |     |   |
      @   @-@-@<@-@-#   @-@-@     #   #-#
      |   |     v |     |   |     |     |
      @   @     @-@     @   #     #     #
      |   |     |       |   |     |     |
      @-@-@   @-@       @   #-#-#-#     #
          |*  |         |   |           |
          #>@-@     @-@-@   #           L
          v |       |       |
          @-@       @       T
          |         |
        @-@     @-@-@
        | ^     |
      |       |
      @       @
      |       |
      U   D-@-@

                   LEVEL  3-8-13-18....

       T   #-#-#-#     @-@-@-@-#-#-#-#-#
       |   |     |     |     |         |
       #   #     #-#-#-@     @         #
       |   |           |     |         |
     #-#-#-#           @-#   @-@-@     #-#
     |     |           |     |   |
     #     #   U-@-@   @     #   @-@
     |     |   |   |   |           |
     #-#-#>#   #   @-@-@           @     T
     |     |   |   |               |     |
     #     #   #   #               @-@-#-#
     |     |   |                     |
     L     #   #         #-#-#-3     @
           |   ^     *   | |         |
           #   #     #-#-#-#         @-@-@-@
           |   |     | |   |               |
       #-#-#   #   #-#-#   #-#             @
       |   |   |   | | |     |             |
       #   #-#>#   #-#-#     T   #         @
       |       |   | | |         |         |
     #-#       #   #-#-#-#       #         @
     |         ^   |   |         |         |
     #     T   #   T   #     #-#-#         @
     |     |   |       |     |   |         |
     #-#-#-#   #       #-#-#>#-#-#         @
       |       |             |   |         |
       #       #   @-@-@     #   T         @
       |       |   |   |                   |
       #       #   @   @     @-@-@         @
       |       |   |   |     |   |         |
       #-#-#   D-@-@   @-@-@-@   @-@-@     @
           |           |     |   |   |     |
           #           #     #-#>#   @-@   @
         * |           V         |     |   |
       #-#-#-#-#<#-#-#-#         #     @-@-@
         |             |         |     |
         #             #-#-#-#-#-#     #
         |             |               |
         #-#-#   #-#-#-#               #-#-T

          N      LEVEL  4-9-14-19....

     |                           |         |
     @                           #         @
     |                           V         |
     3                           #-#-L     @
     |                           |         |
     #   T-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#   #         @
     v         |   |   |     |   |         |
     U         #   #   #     #<#-#-#-#     @
     |         V   V   V     |       |     |
     @-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#       #<#-#-@
     |                               |     |
     @                               #     @
     |                               |     |
     @-#-#-#>#-#-#-#>#-#-#-#>#-#-#-#>#     @
     |   |                                 |
     @   #                                 @
     |   |                                 |
     @   #   #-#-#-#-#-#-#-#   #-#-#   #   @
     |   |   |             |   |   |   |   |
     @   #   #             #   #   #   #   @
     |   |   |             |   |   |   |   |
     @   #   #             #   #   #   #   @
     |   |   |                 |   |   |   |
     @   #   #                 #   #   #   @
     |   |   |                 |   |   |   |
     @   #   #-#-#-#-#-#-#-T   #   #   #   @
     |   |             |       |   |   |   |
     @   #             #       #   #   #   @
     |   |             V    *  |   |   |   |
     @   #   #-#-#   * #-#-#<#-#   #   #   @
     |   |   |   |       |     |   |   |   |
     @   #   #   #       #     #   #   #   @
     |   |   |   |       |     |   |   |   |
     @   #   #   T   T-#-D     T   #-#-#   @
     |   |   |                             |
     @   #   #                             @
     |   |   |                             |

         N        LEVEL 5-10-15-20....
            T-#   #   #-#-#         #-#-#-T
              |   |   |   |         |
              #   #-#-#   #<#-#-#-#-#
              |           |         |
              #           #         #-#-#-#
              |     *     |         |
              #-#-#-#-#-#>#     #   #
                |   |     |     |   |
                #   L     #   @-@-@-@-@
                |         |   |       |
        3   #-#>#       #-#   @       @-#-#
        |   |   |       |     |       |   ^
      #-#-#>#   #-#-#-#-U     @     @-@   #
      ^     |           |     |     |     |
            #           @     @     @     #
            |           |     |     |     |
           >#-#-#-#     @     @<#-#-@-@-#-#
        v         |     |     |       |
       >#         #-#-#-@     @       @
        |               |     |       |
       >#               @-@-@-@     @-@
        |                     ^     |
       >#-#-#-#-#-#-#         #     @
        ^   |       |         |     |
       >#   #       #     #-#-#   @-@   #-T
        |   |       |     |       |     |
       >#   #   #-#-#-#-#-#       @     #
        |   |             |       |     |
       >#   #             @-@-@   @-@-@-@
        |   v             |   |         |
       >#-#-#   #-#-#     @   @         @
          |     |   |     |   |         |
          #     #   #     D   @-@-@-@-@-@
          |     |   |             |   |
      #-#>#-#-#-#   #             #   #
      |             |             |   |
      #             #   #-#-T     #   #
      |             |   |             |
      #-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#>#             T


Here's the Monster List. I have not tried to categorize the monsters into levels, except for those highest level ones. Any marked with **** should only be fought by players level 40 or above (that's my recommendation, at least). Have included the AoD in that category, although I realize that level 35 is perfectly capable of killing it... I just don't want levels under 30 trying. One note: if you meet a monster that you've not encountered before, get one hit off and see what its relative firepower is. Few of these monsters will take more than 50 HP's at one whack... but be warned! (grin) And remember, the more difficult a monster is to kill, the more xp's will be gained. Be very careful with life-draining monsters like Colombian Drugpins and Wildthings... the xp's you lose may be difficult to make back up, and if you die you will lose many more levels than normal. Consult xp's to level list. Note to GA's: if you die with negative xp's, SD may or may not restore you to zero xp's. Don't even think of trying to level as a level 1 with -100982 xp's!

MONSTER LIST - a descriptive guide


What do you get when you cross an ape with a mythical cyclops? What if you give them bad tempers and the ability to heal with incredible speed? I don't know either, but we got 'em in there.

Acid Blob

A pool of semi-sentient sulfuric acid with an appetite.


You remember these guys (?) from the three major motion pictures, namely Alien, Aliens, and Aliens 3, although if you saw the last one you're probably praying that it was just a dream in hyper-sleep. They look like Italian acrobats in bug suits and sound like pachyderms on speed.

Angel of Death ****

She's blonde, she's beautiful, she's a lethal real-estate agent.


Hey! Remember in Star Wars* when Ben and Luke go into the cantina and that walrus-faced guy tries to pick a fight with them? Remember how Ben cut that guy's arm off with his lightsaber? Cool huh? Oh yeah. The dude who won't be clapping for a while was an Aqualish. *Star Wars (R), TM & (c) 1993 Lucasfilm Ltd (LFL). All rights reserved.


Scaleless reptiles, the Arcona are limbed snakes. They have flat, anvil-shaped heads with clear, glittery, marblelike eyes. Most of them are strung out on salt lick.


Vicious, bipedal reptiloids with horny black scales of keratin covering their bodies from head to tail. Needle-like teeth fill their huge mouths.

Barney ****

He's a big purple dinosaur who just *loves* you!!

Battle Pigs

Imagine several tons of enraged pork thundering down on a hapless adventurer. Scary ain't it? If you hear a squeal in the distance, your best bet is to run away as fast as you can.

Boston Private Eye ****

Just another dick in a trenchcoat, right? Be careful, he just may have your number.

Bothan Spies

Many Bothans died before we found out what they actually look like. They do lots of work for the Rebellion, which has decided to find out why the Imperium is interested in NAILS. Once a Gothan has been discovered, they will try to kill you in order to maintain their cover. They are paranoid little buggers, but they are very capable infiltrators.


Strong, sturdy and resilient bipedal reptiloids with pitted, knobby hides. Their faces are vaguely humanoid, with bony brows, a flat, triangular nose, and a narrow, frowning mouth. The ones that you find on NAILS are NFL All-Stars gone bad.

C.I.A. Man



Resembling a biological cross between arachnids and humanoids, Charon are thin, multi-limbed sentients. They have mandiblelike chelicerae on the sides of their small mouths, and they have bulging, slit-pupiled eyes. O.K. boys and girls, can you say chelicerae? I knew you could.

Colombian Drugpin

Just about what you'd expect: oily, slicked-back hair, carrying an extra 50 lbs or so on a squat torso... he may ask you to carry something for him, but can you really get it through customs?

Chun Li

The Strongest Woman in the World. Beware of her lightning legs and the spinning star kick.

Deadhead ****

They may look skinny and emaciated, wear grungy t-shirts, have long, unkempt hair and smoke funny cigarettes, but they're a more potent force than you might think. And they're everywhere.

D.E.A. Man



Defel appear to be nothing more than bipedal shadows with reddish eyes and long white fangs. Ohmygod! Look behind you!

Depeche Mode

Yes. The Tuneless Euro-Fags are back with a new album and they want to make you listen to it. Did you bring your earplugs? No? Looks like you've got one chance to save yourself. Kill them.


Master of Yoga and martial arts from India. After a bout with Listerine addiction, Dhalsim developed the ability to breathe fire. He also published his recipe for his favorite drink:

                 The Blood Head (by Dhalsim)
                                 One part Listerine.
                                 One part Yoohoo.
         For some variation, try substituting Strawberry Yoohoo to

make a 'Bloody' Blood Head.


A Secret Society that promotes anarcho-capitalism. They will stop at nothing to free the world from government oppression. They are the mortal enemies of the Illuminati. Unfortunately, the two groups can't tell each other apart so they kill whoever they run across.


"Star Dragons," of Duinuogwuin, are huge, snake-like multipeds with gossamer wings. The average size of a Star Dragon is 10 meters, but legends persist of some over 100 meters in length. Of course, we here at NAILS don't believe in rumors because we usually start most of them. I wouldn't trust everything you read either fnord because fnord you never fnord know what kind fnord of fnord lies we might fnord be printing.


Tall thin aliens with large eyes, a slit mouth, and no nose. As a people, they are brave, sometimes rash, and love space travel.


A militant off-shoot of the original Greenpeace party that landed on NAILS, they like to blow up people who blow up trees. We've told them that you like to blow up trees.

Elvis Impersonator

They don't look like the King, but they do look like each other. They also breed nicely in captivity, which explains why there's so damned many of them.


Cute. Furry. Violent.

F-15 Stryke Eagle

Several tons of screaming airborne metal, just looking to strafe you into the wild blue yonder.

F.B.I. Man


Failed Jedi

Not all young Jedi grow up to star in three of the ten top money earning movies of all time, you know. Some have to go out and get real jobs and devote less time to training with wizened little muppets. Eventually, they become embittered and hit the bottle. After that, it's only a matter of time before they lose their jobs, their wives, and their droids. The only thing they have left is their lightsabers which serve as a constant reminder of their past failures. Is it any wonder why they delight in maiming people?

Floating Sword

Ummm. it's a sword... and... ummmm.... it floats! It slices! It dices! It makes julienne fries!

Fruit bat

Like a rat with wings. They bite.


The guys who guarded Jobba's palace and who squeal like stuck pigs when Rancors bite them, but so do most things we've thrown into the Rancor's mouth. Go figure.

Giant Black Spider

The name says it all. Watch out, they're poisonous.

Giant Centipede

What's got hundreds of legs, a poison bite and taste for human flesh?

Giant Rat

Imported from Texas, where everything is bigger and better.


Large bipeds with two cone-shaped protuberances on the tops of their heads. They have gray-brown, coarse-skinned faces with knobby brows set over red-tinted eyes. Their noses are flat, not protruding more than a centimeter or so from their facial plane, and their mouths are filled with sharp incisors. Shaggy gray fur covers the rest of their bodies. In other words, they look just like your grandmother.


We received a letter from these guys saying that they didn't like the nuclear Power Plant we were building in Coast City and that they were going to protest the construction. When their boats landed on the beach, we told them that the plant was being built underground beyond the dungeon. We haven't heard from them since.

Heavyweight Champ ****

Yeah. He's a mean muthafukka all right.

High Programmers

The High Programmers are the spawned processes of that perform periodic code maintenance for NAILS. They purge the database of all abnormalities to prevent stack overflows and bloat. Unfortunately, due to a flaw in their programming, they are a little fuzzy on the abnormality thing and might try to scramble your bits. The management has been notified of the problem but so far hasn't been able to track down the problem.


Immortal swordsmen with a yearning for decapitating their foes. It could be worse, we might make you watch the second movie.

Huge Slug

A slimy monstrosity that can hock up acid phlegm globbers.


For those who appreciate fluidity of form, a Hutt is a beautiful being. The great bulbous head, up to three meters across, widens and spills into a series of blubbery folds. The base of the body widens even further, becoming a puddle of bloated flesh, then gradually tapers to a muscular tail. No legs disturb the purity of this form, but Hutts do have two small, swollen arms of limited use. The Hutt's head commands greatest admiration. Two enormous reptilian eyes, yellow, cold, and noble, protrude from the surface of the face. The lipless mouth spreads broadly from ear to ear. Salivary glands seem well-developed: a Hutt's drool supply seems endless. The wide, meaty tongue protrudes no more than 50 centimeters, but slides easily across the slavvery mouth.

IRS Auditors

One of the lowest forms of life on NAILS, DEA_Man banished them all to spend the rest of forever in the Layrinth. They are greedy little moneygrubbers, so watch your pockets when dealing with them.


A Secret Society that promotes totalitarianism. They will stop at nothing to enslave the world in government oppression. They are the mortal enemies of the Discordians. Unfortunately, the two groups can't tell each other apart, so they kill whomever they run across.

Immature Irradiated Samurai Slugs

The name says it all.

Imperial Assassin Droids

Think of a relentless and cold killing machine like the Terminator in the shape of a toaster.

Insurance Adjuster

They'll mark you down as totalled then have you repaired and sold off as new. If only 60 Minutes would find out about them...


The scavengers of NAILS. These little brown runts will steal anything that isn't bolted down including you! But they make great kindling for those cold Tatooine nights.


Something like a cross between a rat, a monkey, and an obnoxious parrot. Salacious Crum was one of these galactic pests.


They look like a lump of upright, walking yeast, but look at that shine!


The laboi are mammalian, snakelike beings who range in length from two to six meters. Their bodies are covered with thick fur and they have long snouts filled with canine teeth.


An errant C program with the power of the entire Internet behind him. If he connects with you, he can cause serious neurological damage. Not that we would be able to tell the difference.

Mad Cartoonists

The Disney rejects who draw perverted things featuring cute and fuzzy animals. They're sick and twisted and we love them.

Mandelorian Guard

Hand-picked by the Emperor to eradicate the Jedi Knights. Why did ya think Obi Won was hiding in the stinking desert for? His health? The neighbors? Tax purposes? Yeah. It was the taxes.


Cold and calculating, the mathematician is not to be toyed with. They can differentiate a man to zero in the blink of an eye.

Men In Black

Them, boy! Them! They're everywhere! They're everywhere!

Mon Calamari

An intelligent, bipedal, salmon-colored amphibious species with webbed hands, high-domed heads, and huge eyes on the sides of their heads. If they are on land for too long they get a bit wacky.

NAILS Janitors

These folks have to be tough to mop up all those blood stains down in the lower levels. Over the years, they've learned how to increase their meagre incomes by ambushing unsuspecting adventurers and sending them to the cleaners.


We have no idea how they got in there, they must have spontaneously generated. Whatever their origins, they actually like to hurt people claiming that they are 'helping' in their own special way. This leads us to believe that they might have been a freak mutation of the Dentists.




Fat, rodentlike bipeds with overbites and no concept of money. Wait a second! Isn't that the definition of politician?


Middle-aged men wearing a brown suit jacket and faded blue jeans. They drone on and on for hours talking about nothingness and the absurdity of life. Do us all a favor and put them out of their misery.

Playboy photographer ****

Well, well, well - Leisure Suit Larry got a job. But don't ask how he got that bra.

Rabid Astromech

A droid gone bad. You hate to see it happen, but what can you do? You got a glimpse of R2-D2's evil side when he was back riding in the back of Luke's X-wing. Luckily he was restrained at the time or that would have been the end of our hero.


Harmless [Editor's note: Mostly Harmless].

Rancor Beast

Essentially, the rancor are a misunderstood race. There have been numerous xenobiological studies made to establish communications with them, but the Rancors, obviously frustrated by the lack of social interaction, always wind up eating our scientists.

Rejected NAILS Cast Member

Hard to believe that NAILS actually rejected anyone, isn't it? Don't let that fool you. These pathetic losers can drown you in their sorrows.


Rodians are a bipedal people, with multifaceted eyes, tapirlike snouts, and a green complexion. A ridge of spines crests their skulls. Their fingers are long, flexible, and end in suction cups. Greedo was a Rodian and if you get drunk enough, you too can talk like he did.

Russell Rowan

Annoying little pests with a penchant for failing classes and crashing computers. Do us all a favor and destroy them on sight.

Squid Death Merchant

An anthropomorphic squirrel with an attitude and a blaster.


The so-called elite military of the Imperium. Individually, they can't hit the broad side of the deficit, but in groups, they can combine their fire with deadly accuracy. But why would the Emperor send Stormtroopers to NAILS? Hmmm...


Feline bipeds who stand up to three meters tall. Got any catnip?


Organized labor. Organized crime. Same difference.

Traffic Cop

The easiest way to tell these guys from the Hutts is to look for the name badge that says 'Officer Jellyfilled.'

Vince Lombardi

We don't know why he's here, but he keeps following us around with that firecracker...


Hulking bipeds covered in long, yellow-white or golden fur. They stand up to two and a half meters tall, and weigh up to 400 kilos. The Whiphip face, which has a prominent forehead and long, bowed cheekbones, is hairless - except for a few spiky hairs on its leathery lips and chin. Two upturned tusks sprout from the jaw. The eyes protrude slightly. The hands include three thick fingers with steely, flesh-ripping claws, and the feet have similar equipment. Whiphips resent being called "Tooth Face" by other races, but don't take our word for it. Go out and try it for yourself.

White Beetle

A nasty little insect with razor-sharp mandibles.

Wildthing ****

This one'll make your heart sing... yeah, as all the life-force is drained right out of it.

Wookies (sic)

Ewoks on steroids. Would we lie to you?


We don't know what he looks like, we just liked his name. We do know that he was one of the bounty hunters that Lord Vader hired to capture Captain Solo.


Abyssin Fighter------------> 15
Abyssin Warrior------------> 95
Acid Blob------------------> 2
Aging Rock Star------------> 1,325
Alien----------------------> 50
Angel Of Death-------------> 200,000
Aqualish Merc--------------> 10
Arcona Salt Addict---------> 3
Barbel Hunter--------------> 2
Barney---------------------> 500,000
Battle Pig-----------------> 300
Boston Private Eye---------> 83,000
Bothan Spy-----------------> 110
Brubb Mercenary------------> 5
C.I.A. Man-----------------> 800
Charon Warrior-------------> 1
Colombian Drugpin----------> 600, $2000
Champion-------------------> 155,000
Chun Li--------------------> 300
Conspirator----------------> 100
Crazed Mon Calamari--------> 50
Deadhead-------------------> 22,000
D.E.A. Man-----------------> 500 (Can take EXP)
D.E.A. Supervisor----------> 1500
Defel Pirate---------------> 15
Depeche Mode---------------> 20, $500
Dhalsim--------------------> 300
Discordian-----------------> 50
Duinuogwuin (Tiny)---------> 1

            (Small)--------> 10
            (Medium)-------> 200
            (Large)--------> 300
            (Ancient)------> 1250, $2500

Duros Captain--------------> 50
Ecoterrorists--------------> 100
Elvis Impersonator---------> 245, $1500
Ewok-----------------------> 2
F-15 Stryke Eagle----------> 1500
F.B.I. Man-----------------> 835
F.B.I. Supervisor----------> 1800, $1000
Failed Jedi----------------> 350
Floating Sword-------------> 50
Former Heavyweight Champ---> 35,000
Fruit Bat------------------> 10
Gamorrean------------------> 10
Giant Black Spider---------> 8
Giant Centipede------------> 5
Giant Rat------------------> 2
Gotal Wanderer-------------> 6
Greenpeace-----------------> 2
High Programmer------------> 35
Highlander-----------------> 271
Huge Slug------------------> 2
Hutt-----------------------> 50
Illuminati-----------------> don't have this one:)
Immature Irradiated Sam.---> 200
Imperial Assassin Droid (I)> 30

                       (II)> 90
                      (III)> don't have this one:)
                       (IV)> don't have this one:)
                        (V)> 300

Insurance Adjuster---------> 200
I.R.S. Auditor-------------> 30
I.R.S. Supervisor----------> 1409;takes smacks
Jawas!---------------------> 40
Kawokian-------------------> 10
Kitonak--------------------> 40
Laboi----------------------> 30
L.A.P.D Inspector----------> 43,000
Mad Cartoonist-------------> 400
Mad Mon Calamari-----------> 60
Mandelorian Guard----------> 300
Mathematician--------------> 150
Monster (club)-------------> 6

        (void)-------------> 335
        (hit)--------------> 1200, $2000

MUDLINK--------------------> 20
Men In Black---------------> 250
NAILS Janitor--------------> 400
Neurologist----------------> 200
Ossan Chief----------------> 40
Philosopher----------------> 40
Playboy Photographer-------> 40,000,000
Rabid Astromech------------> 400
Ranats---------------------> 150
Rancor Beast---------------> 140
Rejected NAILS Cast Member-> 2, $40
Rodian Bounty Hunter-------> 35

Guard---------------> 10
Russell Rowan--------------> 150
Squib Death Merchant-------> 30
Stormtrooper---------------> 3

             (Duo)---------> 15
             (Trio)--------> 30
             (Quartet)-----> 50
             (Quintet)-----> 90
             (Squad)-------> 200

Tagorian Adventurer--------> 60
Teamsters------------------> 160
Traffic Cop----------------> 250
Veteran Vice Agent---------> 600
Vince Coleman--------------> 2
Whiphip--------------------> 2
Whiphid Tracker------------> 35
White Beetle---------------> 1
Wild Thing-----------------> 35,000
Wookie---------------------> 200
Zuckass--------------------> 150

It is hoped that this guide will make your adventure in the NAILS Labyrinth an enjoyable and exciting experience. To that end, I am always looking to update the guide with more information, so if you have tricks, tips, or hints - or prices for any goods - please send them along. Feel free to email the guide out to anyone who asks for it - recommend that newbies use it - and I strongly encourage you to lend a hand to anyone wandering around Trelg's in a state of confusion.

For tips on fighting as a high-level player, just talk to experienced combattants: they've been there, and when it comes to finding someone willing and able to hold items for you (like 5K's), bring things down to you (5K's, Recallers, Tarys, S-91's), or just keep an eye on you when you're in danger of losing your life, limbs, and equipment (not to mention that wonderful FEAR), nothing beats a real, live person. Make friends, be a friend, and remember: this may be virtual reality, but that only applies to the game - the Labyrinth - not to the people you meet here. Each and every one of them is real, with real emotions and real needs and sensitivities (more than one RL relationship started out as VR on NAILS: mine and Arky's, for instance <smile>). Just because you have anonymity, don't abuse other people by being selfish, mean, or antagonistic. 'Nuff said.

Many many thanks to:

MysticHurler, Eddie, rapier, jet, dante, Chump, Morpheus, Hurricane, defiant, ascent...

anyone whose name I've left out...

and to all who combat on NAILS: now go make Grand Admiral